7 Ways to Practice Self Reflection and Why it's Important
With self care being all the rage these days I’m sure there is already a flood of blogs about self reflection out there so thank you for taking the time to read mine! You’re here obviously because you know how important it is to love yourself. I realize there is a difference though between knowing you need it and knowing HOW to do it and that’s exactly why I wrote this.
With that said, let’s jump right in!
What is self reflection?
I’m not an expert on human behaviors or anything like that so I can’t say exactly what it is but simply put, it’s an assessment of oneself. You’re probably thinking DUH, right?
It’s not all that simple though. Self reflection requires us to look backwards and that’s not always easy. Some say it’s better to leave the past in the past and I’m all for that, but for the sake of self reflection, the past is important and helpful.
Let me be clear, this does not mean look at all your faults and failures and start going down a rabbit hole of self pity as you judge yourself thinking you need to be fixed. (I’m talking to myself here)
What I’m saying is, looking back helps you examine where you were in order to see where you are and where you are going.
The google dictionary definition of reflection says these two things:
the throwing back by a body or surface of light, heat, or sound without absorbing it.
serious thought or consideration.
In order for us to see a reflection, it has to bounce back off of something else. So in the same sense, when practicing self reflection to better ourselves, we first have to take into careful consideration the importance of looking back to move forward.
Why is self reflection so important for personal growth?
Well, it’s impossible to grow when you’re hindered by whatever holds you back. More often than not, what holds us back is past experiences and the fear of experiencing them again. We allow our feelings towards past pain, rejection, regret, mistakes, etc. to hinder us. Needless to say, it doesn’t take an expert to know that we have to learn how to get out of our own way if we’re gonna be successful at anything worthwhile in life.
That said, self reflection is important because:
We are commanded to love
The word of God calls us to love others as we love ourselves. How in the world can we love anyone else well if we don’t even love ourselves well?! We can’t. Self reflection can help us figure out why we struggle to love ourselves, what we can do to start and how we can continue so that we might love others as we’ve been called to do.
We have a purpose
If you’re alive, your life has meaning. When we’re not walking in our purpose, we naturally feel a sense of hollowness. Self reflecting helps us find what we’re passionate about and learn what it means to simply live for those things. When we live with purpose we feel fulfilled.
It teaches us value
Self reflection is valuable and what we learn from it can reveal to us our own value. If we don’t value ourselves, it’s hard to value anything else in life. On the contrary, when we know our value, we know what it means to be free.
It clarifies understanding
We need to understand ourselves in order to understand our responses to the lemons that life throws us. Self reflection gives us a way to examine our thought patterns and help us figure out what triggers them so that we might be able to stand up against the ones that weigh us down and magnify the ones that build us up.
It promotes perspective
As said previously, we get stuck in thought patterns. Most often the thought patterns we get stuck in are negative, because for some ridiculous reason that the experts probably know, it’s easier for us to think we can’t then to think we can. Self reflection can help us reach new perspectives that can help us change those thought patterns bringing us to a place of hope.
Some of the many benefits of self reflection:
Builds self confidence as we discover that we are capable of more than what we think we are.
Develops a sense of self awareness when we get honest with ourselves about our strongholds and learn how to overcome them.
Encourages self control when we learn how to come to grips with our emotions vs our reality.
Strengthens relationships because we learn to treat ourselves better and in turn can treat others better.
Increases decision making ability as our minds become strengthened through exercising our brains.
Alright yall, here it is as promised!
7 Ways
to Practice
Self Reflection
I’m putting this in a systematic order as this is what works well for me but you can do any or all, in any order that you wish. Try them and see what works for you!
Think about it
Get a pen and paper or your favorite notebook then grab your handy dandy smart phone and set a timer for three to five minutes. When the time starts ticking start writing! Brainstorm your heart out! Write down EVERY thought you think about yourself during this time without hesitation. Write your dreams, your failures, things you love, things you hate, EVERYTHING you think! When you’re done, go back and circle a few things that you want to change, do better, do less of, do more of… things you want to work on.
Track it
This is effective because it helps you identify patterns of habit or behaviors that you want to act on. What you need to do this, is take the things you circled from step one and transfer them onto a piece of paper in the form of a tracker. I’ve provided a free download of a simple tracker that you can print out and use or just use it to give you an idea of what you need to create one for yourself. Basically, you’re keeping track of how often you think or feel a certain way or do a certain thing that you want to understand better. When tracking a specific mood, I find it helpful to jot down the time of day as well. By doing so, I discovered that all I needed to fix to stop getting so upset with my kids in the morning was to eat something first (insert face palm emoji here lol) Let’s say for example you want to stop worrying so much about your appearance. On your tracker you can record how often you feel self conscious.
Write it
Go out and find yourself a new journal that you love and will use for all your self reflecting needs. Use this journal when you reflect back and examine your tracker at the end of the week. Write down what you noticed about your behavior. What was the environment like? Did you get enough sleep? What happened before or after? Is something else going on that is causing you to be more stressed than usual? Referring back to the example we’re tracking, worrying about appearance. Let’s say you noticed you felt bad about your appearance each time you talked to or saw your friend who always looks gorgeous in her cute outfits, pretty painted nails and perfectly shiny hair. Be honest with yourself and take note of things like that in your journal.
Read it
Sometimes we have to see it more than once in order to take it all in and understand it better. Nothing is ever written not to be read. So go back and read your journal as often as you can. Read your brainstorm notes again and look over your tracker and recall the situations. Start from the beginning, start from the end, open it up to a random page or mark pages that you want to go back to.
Meditate on it/Pray on it
So you’ve thought about it, you tracked your patterns, you wrote about it, you read it back, now let it simmer. Spend some time away from all the distractions and just meditate on all the things you’re seeking and learning about yourself. You can do this while soaking up some sun on your favorite comfy chair in your backyard, while taking a walk or a run through your favorite park or hiking trail or simmering in a nice hot bath with bubbles. I suggest your favorite places or environments so it’s easier to tap into positive thoughts and good energy. In these moments, think about all the things you’ve realized through self reflection. Thank God for helping you pull it all together and ask for direction to move forward.
Plan it
If you’re one of those people that’s not really a planner, you should really reconsider. Planning is vital when you’re someone who is terrible at carving out time for self care. I remember a time in my life where I was just exhausted. Not exhausted as in tired, but as in my time, my schedule, my energy… just completely spent! During this time, I literally had to schedule a specific day and time on my calendar to cut my toenails! I kid you not. When we reflect for the purpose of bettering ourselves, it won’t serve its purpose if we don’t make the time to do what needs to be done. I’m the type of person that needs to MAKE time cause I rarely ever find free time to spend on myself. If you have the same problem, hear what I’m saying and PLAN IT! Use a planner book or the calendar on your phone if you have to, just as long as you make the time for self reflection and self care. As you sit down to plan as yourself: What do you need to do next? Stop comparing yourself? Set boundaries? Stop spending money you don’t have? Give up junk food? Whatever it is, set goals for yourself and create a plan of action.
Act on it
“You are what you do, not what you say you’ll do” - Carl Gustav Jung
Do you want to wake up tomorrow with regret because you didn’t take action? If your answer is no, then my suggestion for you is simply… then don’t. Your actions don’t have to be big at first, get your feet wet by taking baby steps towards the goals you’ve planned but nevertheless, take steps.
Remember that it’s totally okay and necessary to look backwards to reach forward thinking. Think of it like parallel parking, in order to accomplish your goal, you first have to go in reverse. Happy self-reflecting my friends! I’m excited for all the things that will be revealed to you and all the ways that they will make you better!
Be blessed by what you learn and move forward to an unhindered future!