If I don’t talk about how I had a bad day today, I wouldn't be transparent like I know I should be. It was one of those days where I woke up in a great mood, feeling so blessed and totally ready for the battles I'd have to face today. I felt the presence of God in such a mighty way so in the back of my mind I knew some kinda warfare was gonna hit me at some point. I spent some time in prayer and read today's devotional in every devotional book that I own. One of those books is the Love Language in a Year devotional. I enjoy reading them with my husband as it is intended for couples. But, we wake up late and life gets busy and we honestly never get to read them together. So since he was at work when I read today, I sent him a picture of the page. Today'sreading was about communication (go figure). Next thing I know, he says one thing, I say another, and BOOM, in a matter of seconds I'm in a funk with my husband over a misunderstanding and the rest of my day was just… bleh.
A couple of my worst habits is that I overthink EVERYTHING and I'm a very emotional thinker. I'm also sensitive to criticism so it can be very difficult to communicate with me if you're not patient and gentle. I take offense to a lot of things that are said to me when they're sort of said AT me if that makes any sense. That may sound childish to some but it's how I am. Tough love is not my love language at all so I put walls of defense up whenever I have to deal with it. I am more receptive to gentleness. Having said that, my husband is the opposite so I'm sure you can imagine how things can go when we are in disagreement. We don't disagree a lot but when we do.. we end up in a funk.
Anyway, realizing all those things about myself that I mentioned above led me to overthink that I'm the worst kinda wife. My poor husband has to deal with me and my difficult ways. I felt awful. Well, as the day continued on and my mind continued to overthink with emotion I began to feel so unworthy of anything good. It's hard to like yourself when you have all these things about you that make it hard for people to communicate with you. I went further into thinking it's no wonder I don't have a lot of friends, people probably feel the same way my husband does. Ugh!
While I was driving in my car I was feeling so frustrated with myself wondering what the heck was wrong with me. And then, on KLOVE radio I hear "you're the son or daughter of the most high king". Right then and there I started crying as I was reminded of who I am. I am a daughter of the most high king! There is nothing wrong with me! I may not like myself all the time and maybe my husband doesn't always like my difficult qualities but my good good Father does and he sees me as his princess. Adored and highly favored! I am taking that powerful truth to bed with me and hoping that tomorrow will be a better day. Stay blessed and UNHINDERED!