Since I've decided to rededicate my Sundays to the Lord in honor of the Sabbath day, I'm just going to do a short rant on Sunday nights without putting too much thought or effort into it. Reason being, the sabbath day is to be a day without labor and reserved for God.
Having said that, here we go! Hopefully, it'll be short. LOL
Do you ever have days where everything ends up turning out the opposite of what you had hoped for? Most of my day was like that (as it probably was for any Packers or Steelers fans too. Sorry!). My morning was awesome. I got up before everyone, got ready, made breakfast and had a chance to start my day off in the presence of God which brought to a place of peace before the day really began. The house is a wreck but I was really taking the whole no labor thing seriously and didn't bother with any of the mess, nor did I make anyone else bother with it. We went to a new church that I was excited to try out. Based on their description on their website, I was hopeful to find a connection with a community of believers that I felt me and my family could grow with. Well, I was disappointed to find that that wasn't the case. Then off we went to hang out with long-time friends whom we haven't seen in a while to watch football. I was hopeful to feel that sense of "picking up right where we left off" feeling that most close friends have. Well, I was disappointed to find that I felt more out of place than anything. Then at the end of our night, me, the Mr, and kids did a family devotional that I had hoped would bring us closer, as we learned about Jesus and what it means to love, together. Again, I was disappointed to find that I ended up feeling quite under-appreciated as a wife and mother by the time we finished.
Now, the family has gone to bed and I'm left alone here with my own thoughts... Will we ever find a church that gives us a sense of belonging where we can connect with others and grow with God? Why don't I feel like I fit in with my friends anymore? Do I do enough for my family? Questions that started to lead to self-doubt and fear.
Tears fell down my face as I felt frustrated and empty at the end of my day of rest. Disappointed because I had hoped this sabbath day would've left me feeling refreshed, full of life, and ready for the week ahead. For a moment my flesh had a win over my spirit. Then I started talking to God and asking for a simple truth to get me unhindered. His answer: Jesus reigns higher than your hurts and hang-ups, fears and failures, disappointments and discouragement, self-doubt and sin. Right then, my tears of frustration turned into tears of relief and the Lord further revealed to me an eternal perspective about who I am in Him. I am here for his purpose and all that I do should be done unto him. My role as a wife, mother, friend, church member, etc. should always be done for his glory and his glory alone. It is not up to me to worry about whether or not my family or anyone else sees my efforts because God does and at the end of the day.. at the end of life.. how I lived to serve and honor the father is all that is going to matter. Stay blessed and unhindered!